Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Hang your hat. Then, light it on fire.

The year creeps to its final months and I haven’t touched my blog since the new year— and with good reason. I needed to shutdown and pack-up, leaving my social media terminals to stand vacant— like rustbelt grain silos
I needed to box away my paints and literally watch them collect dust in order to probe my mind for the genuine longing that should be the driving force behind a business. I was waiting to feel guilty for hanging my hat.

I didn’t.

I could have tried to rework the business or re-imagine my career. Instead, I re-imagined my life. I left New Jersey and picked up a day job— totally unrelated to the art world. I became a part of someone else’s small business and found new applications for my knowledge and real value in the experiences I had while managing my own damn business.

I made it to (only what I considered to be) the top of the online body art community. I made it to the other side of that wall that divides us from the moderators, gatekeepers, and the “published.” Then, I took a walk…

I took a walk for the same reason I abandoned my college dorm seven years ago, I was disappointed, bored, and de-motivated. I was stuck with that horrible taste in my mouth- that feeling of, “Oh, this is it? That’s all?”

Maybe it was like finding out the “Strawberry Surprise” is really a little JalapeƱo. And similarly, I wanted to put my business in a liquor soaked solo cup, throw it on the ground, and light it on fire.

Have I lost you yet?

TL;DR I figured out what I want to be when I grow up, and I’m coming at this shit from a whole new angle. Peace.

1 comment: